Tired Mommy Karaoke

When I was in college and in the years immediately following, I was a self-proclaimed karaoke junkie. Despite my less than pleasant voice, there was something intoxicating (pun intended) about getting up in front of an often skeptical crowd and winning them over with a spirited (pun also intended) rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” or “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”. 

Those days are over, at least for the foreseeable future. The only stage I’m getting on is the one in my kids’ play room that my four-year-old created by ripping sheets of paper off an easel pad and laying them on the floor. With a microphone borrowed from our rarely used game of Rock Band for Wii she makes me perform Raffi songs while she and Ceci serve as spectators. If I somehow manage to get to a  karaoke night, however, maybe I will bust out this original take on a classic bar song:

Mom of Three (Sung to the tune of “Piano Man”)

It’s 5 a.m. on a Saturday
When I am roused from my sleep
By a baby in a bassinet
Crying her heart out just five feet from me

I say, “Child, do you know what the time is?
Only two hours ago you were fed.”
But her diaper’s turned blue, she smells faintly of poo,
So it’s farewell to my cozy bed

La la la, di da da
Will I ever rest again?

This is my life, I’m a mom of three
This is my life today
Right now sleeplessness is my reality
But in eighteen years I’ll be okay

When my spouse and I chose to have children
There were some things we couldn’t foresee
Like pregnancy mood swings and the tumult that they bring
Or how painful labor would be
I said, “Matt I believe this is killing me
I’m not sure that I thought this all through.”
Then they handed us our little bundle
Oh my God, what did we get into?

La la la, di da da
I would never be the same

Now Maggie, our first, was a darling
The light of our lives, our sweetheart
Then the terrible twos hit, and she started to throw fits
And we thought a sibling would be smart

Well our second, Cecilia, she fit right in
A regular partner in crime
And we thought, despite all of the messes
What the heck let’s do this one more time

This is my life, I’m a mom of three
This is my life today
Right now wiping butts is my reality
But in eighteen years I’ll be okay

This new babe doesn’t care that it’s Saturday
Or that her mama wants to sleep
So I feed her and watch Netflix series
Until downstairs the other two creep
And their laughter borders on maniacal
And they tear through my house like banshees
Though they may make me poor and drop crumbs on my floor
I still love to be called their mommy

La la la, di da da
I need a cup of coffee

This is my life, I’m a mom of three
This is my life today
Right now chasing kids is my reality
But in eighteen years I’ll be okay

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